好怪﹐真係好怪。

    今日心情平平無奇﹐無起無跌。同 Mike o既打賭今日開始﹐無得食零食兩個禮拜。唔知係唔係因為咁﹐我特別想食﹐但係無理由第一日就輸咁"收"家。所以連午餐都唔食﹐等食晚餐。都唔關打唔打賭事﹐我放假依幾日都無食午餐﹐都無胃口。飲 Orange juice 唔算 Junk food 啦﹐等陣去買返支﹐唔洗口淡淡無野飲。講返今日啦﹐應該係 12 點幾已經醒左架啦﹐但係就係唔想起身﹐係張床到 "典" o黎 "典" 去。搞到 1 點幾先落床﹐都感覺唔到 "今日又係好o既一日" 果o的。坐左o係電腦面前睇電影﹐睇左成個 afternoon﹐之後 Jacky 就黎俾野我﹐跟住就食飯囉。連食飯都唔開心﹐求奇食左碗飯就算囉。頭先﹐我特然發覺係依一年裡面我迷失左我自己。一直被妒嫉心牽著鼻子走﹐覺得以前有好多野都係多餘o既。就算我再唔開心﹐再發癲落去﹐咁又點 jie。佢會受影響咩? 唔會架嘛﹐我好白痴﹐到而架先領會到依個道理。我知道我心中o既怨恨重沒消散﹐但係咁又點jie﹐重有咩我可以做jie。我都覺得好煩﹐好累。如果一早我就可以表達出自己真正o既感受你話幾好呢? 唔洗收收埋埋﹐時狗就發下作咁。我真係覺得我要去睇心理醫生o既地步﹐成日都唔開心我諗都係一種病o黎架。有好多時﹐我真係唔知點解我會唔開心﹐凈係覺得個心沈左落去﹐咩都提唔起勁咁。好難過啊!覺得身邊好嘈好嘈﹐好想咩都停晒落黎靜一靜﹐俾我靜一靜。我所講o既唔係真實o既嘈﹐係心靈上得唔到一點o既平靜。我唔似其他人一樣咁堅強﹐我底消唔到挫折﹐衰左一次我就唔咁再試個o的人黎架。我知我好失敗﹐因為我害怕失敗。我唔知我重可以點﹐我咩都唔知道喇已經。我等緊﹐我等緊我會知道我想要咩o既一日。一定會黎。。。一定會。。。。
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