Change everything…

    Felt like changing the background theme, I wanted to change it a week ago, but didn’t find one that I liked. I must have missed this one last time I check, since…I like this one now. Feel more cheery and alive…which is what I want now. I wanna be cheery and alive, but atm, I’m not living that way. I WAS a cheery person up till I don’t know when. I wanna go back to high school, where everything is warm and friendly. And back to the time I experience nothing, only need to concentrate on school work and that’s it. Life was simple and clear. Now? Its still simple, but not clear any more…too foggy. I know that I always made things more complicated than it is, but I can’t stop my head from turning. I always got blind by the bad point/disadvantage, I’ll never let my self see the good side of things. That’s one big black piggy for me. SIGH* I wanted to change everything, change the way I look, change the way I deal with things, change the way I act. I guess…the only easy thing I can do is to change the way I look, just draw a big cross on my face will do. I want to have a clear idea of what I want in life and what I should be expecting. I don’t wanna expect something that is out of my reach or control any more. I’m aggressive~ very aggressive..should I give myself a slap on the face to clear myself up? Will that work? If it will, I’ll do it for sure. Sigh…don’t wanna type anymore…might update abit on my emotion later. Just wanna get out of the house…..wanna wanna wanna wanna….sigh….

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