又一個失眠夜

    點解呢? 我又未訓,我都唔眼訓。我怕又達落床個陣,左din右din都係訓唔到。我都唔知自己想點。我夠景想點呢? 我好想穩人陪我聊天,陪我吹吹水。我好想有人可以陪下我,但我知,我唔可以任性。無理o既要求我知我唔可以提出,我個人唔細架啦。生性啦,醒下啦,無人會成日接受d無理o既要求。"佢"已經付出左好多,"佢"自己都有好多野煩緊而我又幫唔到手。我可以做o既淨係唔可以煩"佢"。 但係我都做唔到,我發作"佢"脾氣。因爲我失眠而我又覺得"佢"唔關心我,所以我發佢脾氣。到最後,都係"佢"同我講sorry 先。我係比"佢"個 sms 叫醒o既,題完我覺得好内疚。我真係無理過"佢"感受,從我地一齊到而傢,都係佢就我。付出左好多o既唔係我,係"佢"。 我想做咩"佢"都會為我去做,但我好似無感謝過"佢"。到有咩發生我都係會穩"佢" 出氣,會怪"佢"唔理我。問心個句我好唔應該,但係都會係"佢"穩我先(都係話我次次都係"佢"穩我先,但係每次都係"佢"穩我先)。點解我會唔穩"佢"呢? 因爲我要冷靜,我唔想打電話過去而又再閙過或無聲出。我唔鍾意依種感覺,空蕩蕩o甘。其實夜闌人靜個陣,我林過無數o甘多次。我唔可以o甘,我要了解"佢"多d,唔好再成日發脾氣,快快樂樂o甘過。但係我成日都做唔到,我好容易發脾氣,我控制唔到我自己。我唔係想成日都搞到好慘o甘,但係我緊張個陣,唔開心個陣,我真係樂觀唔到。我都知唔單止係我一個人go through 依 d 野,但係我都係怕姐。我都無學其他人o甘跳樓玩自殺啊,唔開心無罪啊唔係咩? 我應該跟 ‘溏心風暴’個句 — <<甜的吃,苦的也吃。>> 我食慣甜,好怕食苦。遇到小小苦我就逼到自己埋corner,林野都好灰。我真係唔知自己想點,"佢"可唔可以話我知我想點呢? 唔寫啦…
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2 thoughts on “又一個失眠夜

  1. Dearest Sandi,
    呢個世界上吾係得佢一個  仲有我 我都係你好朋友
     我前一排都有訓吾著呀  自己找D悶野來做 就好快訓著啦 一係你去拍日出俾我睇
    我之前都有做過這種事 ^^
    我最近都有事情要告訴 等你給我時間啊 但係我乽係開SKYPE 或者我地用facebook la ^^

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